You are ready. You can’t put it off any longer. It’s time to buy that engagement ring. You’ve done the research, you know exactly what you want to buy, you’ve budgeted the money, but just one more thing is holding you back… what size ring? Keeping your proposal plans secret has its own challenges. Trying to get a ring size on top of that is a minefield, and an easy way fail, if you still want it all to be a surprise, that is. Lucky for you, in this post we will outline six methods you can use to get the information you need.
Be warned, each method has it’s own difficulty level and outcome.
Difficulty Level: 0/5
Our suggestions get better as you go down the post, don’t worry. Even so, this isn’t such a crazy method. It’s a guesstimate. Part guess, part estimate. This HAS worked before. When shopping for a woman, the average ring size for most women is between a size 5 and size 7. We also know that the average sized woman in the U.S. is about 5-feet 4-inches tall. You can go off these averages to determine her ring size without her knowing. If she’s shorter or weighs a little more, you can go up a size or two. If she’s thinner and taller, maybe try a size down. You get the idea. If shopping for a man, the same principals apply. The average ring size is between a size 8 and a size 10 1/2 with an average height of 5-feet 10-inches. Again, if he’s shorter or weighs above average, try a size up. Thinner and taller, size down. You get the drill.
While this might work, it isn’t the cookie cutter way to find a ring size. Everyone is different and not everyone is going to fit in with the average. Some also like a tighter-fitting ring, while others prefer a loose fit. It’s a good idea to keep in mind that the dominant hand might be a little bigger.
Borrow a ring
Difficulty Level: 2/5
One of the easier ways we have of figuring out someone’s ring size would be to borrow an existing ring. Normally we would never condone taking anything without permission, but this is for a good cause (and you will OBVIOUSLY return it afterwards) Just be sure it’s not a ring worn daily that would be immediately noticed when missing. If the choice is limited, try to do this while they are out of the house, so you can borrow and return it before they even know it. The trick is to be stealthy.
Take note of where rings are stored, whether a jewelry box or nightstand. Be sure to choose an opportunity when you will have more time than you need. It is very important to know which finger and hand the rings are worn on. Someone’s dominant hand might be larger than the less dominant hand – so you can’t just assume the ring size is the same on the right and left hands – try your best to get a ring from the hand they would wear their wedding ring on (traditionally the left hand), it will be more accurate.
Once you’ve started the heist and have the ring – you can do one of two things – depending on how much time you have. If they are gone for the weekend, bring it to Precision Watches & Jewelry and have it professionally sized – you can even buy your own sizer online to measure at home, but it may be easier to get caught that way. If you have very little time, perhaps the length of a shower or while they are out for a run – place the ring on a piece of paper and trace a circle around the middle. It’s not perfect, but it can certainly help. Be sure to jot down which finger and hand the ring is from. By making note of which finger the ring is from, we can help with approximate sizing using common proportions of hand and finger sizes.
Sneak it into conversation
Difficulty Level: 5/5
This method takes skill. Do you think you are up for it? If you think you can smoothly ask for a ring size in a conversation without giving anything away, it’s a perfect technique. You can be creative with how you bring it up in conversation. One idea would be to ask her ring size because you are buying a ring for your sister, mom, relative, etc. Whether you actually buy that ring is up to you, but you could ask her to give her ring size to get an idea of what size to get for the present. It can be used as a benchmark, even though we all know that the real ring is coming soon after.
Or, maybe you are at a wedding for a friend. Mention that the ring caught your eye and you wonder how the groom was able to figure out the ring size. Maybe they’ll reveal their ring size while explaining their own theories. There are a lot of ways to do this, so be creative! Just make sure you can execute it in a way that is natural and doesn’t lead them down the path of suspicion.
Family and Friends to the Rescue
Difficulty Level: 2/5
Enlisting family and friends in the proposal is a very easy solution. It may be worth reaching out. Maybe at one point they’ve purchased a ring as a gift, and they would be able to reference this purchase. In these particular cases, family and friends can be an amazing source of information. But, the most important thing about this method is that you should be able to absolutely trust them with your secret. The worst outcome here would be if one of them accidentally leaked the surprise proposal. If you know their family and friends well and trust that they could keep the secret, asking them for help may be a good option to consider.
Get Someone Else to Ask
Difficulty Level: 3/5
This method is another one where it is incredibly important to trust whoever you bring in to help you. Recruiting the help of others is a little bit easier than trying to sneak the question into conversation, because there may be less suspicion on their part. A friend asking their ring size is way less obvious than if you were to flat out ask. They shouldn’t have any reason to suspect that you asked other people to get in on the proposal, so you may be able to find out in a more direct way.
One way of doing this is if they have a friend that just got engaged. Ask them to let your boyfriend or girlfriend try on the ring and have the friend ask their ring size. The success level for this technique will vary based on the questions that your accomplice asks. If you have someone who bluntly asks what their ring size, chances are you will receive an accurate answer. If you just know that their friend’s ring is small on their finger, you are still left with a range of possible sizes.
EXPERT MODE: Find a friend with a similar hand size to make the process even easier.
Compare Your Hands
Difficulty Level: 1/5
Another method is to look at their finger size in comparison to yours. You can do this simply by inspecting their hand without them thinking too much into your actions. The Difficulty Level on this is extremely low, but the room for error is high. Maybe you’ll notice that you have similar size fingers or that theirs are slightly smaller. Then you would need to determine your own ring size and try to estimate from there. You can also try on their rings secretly and see if they fit any of your fingers (like your pinky for example), then get your finger measured!
This does work in some instances, but you will need accept that there is a large chance for error.
Don’t Overthink It: Just ask!
Difficulty Level: 0/5
The whole point of this article was to help you find the ring size in a more subtle and secretive way. However, when it comes down to it, you might just want to ask. Modern day couples aren’t so secretive about marriage proposals. Many relationships, you know it’s coming by a certain point. There are many conversations and hints thrown in both directions before it happens. Next time you are talking about the future, or marriage specifically… just ask! Who knows, maybe they have some wild expectations with a ring, perhaps they want something very specific – sometimes it’s best to include them in the shopping experience.
We know many couples who have come in together to buy an engagement ring. This doesn’t mean you can’t keep the actual proposal a secret. Sure, a handful propose right then and there in the store – they just can’t wait. Others still keep a surprise about it. They know it’s coming, for sure – but it can still be a magical and memorable event for a couple. This way, you can be on the same page about the ring, make sure it’s a perfect fit, and a style they love – but surprise them when it counts.
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